Tip Sheet: Talking To Children About Violence.pdf

High profile acts of violence, particularly in schools, can confuse and frighten children who may feel in danger or worry that their friends or loved-ones are at risk. Caregivers can help children feel safe by establishing a sense of normalcy and security, talking with them about their fears, and reassuring them that they are safe. Emphasize that schools are very safe, validate their feelings, and explain that all feelings are OK when tragedy occurs.

Help children identify at least one adult at school and in the community to whom they can go if they feel threatened or at risk. Limit television viewing and social media exposure related to these events, and maintain a normal routine to promote physical health. Ensure children get plenty of sleep, regular meals, and exercise, and encourage them to keep up with their schoolwork and extracurricular activities.

When explaining violence to children, keep explanations developmentally appropriate. Early elementary school children need brief, simple information, while upper elementary and middle school children may ask more questions and need assistance separating reality from fantasy. Upper middle school and high school students will have strong opinions and may share concrete suggestions about how to make school safer.

Emphasize key points, such as schools being safe places, the importance of reporting concerns, and that violence is possible but not probable. Senseless violence is hard to understand, but doing things that bring comfort and sticking to a normal routine can help. Sometimes people do bad things that hurt others, but adults work hard to get people help when they need it. Violence is never a solution to personal problems, and children can be part of the positive solution by participating in anti-violence programs and seeking help from an adult if needed.